


I thought I'd give life one more try...

by VoodooIce24 (voodooice24)



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hannah didn't kill herself, M/M, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Suicidal Thoughts, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voodooice24/pseuds/VoodooIce24
Summary: A 3 chapter work in which Hannah, Zach, and Clay are getting involved with a polyamorous relationship. (I looked and there wasn't one written. So, I figured I had to do it myself.) Each chapter is from a different character's PoV.





	1. Beginnings (Hannah PoV)

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing season 2 of 13 Reasons Why, I realized how much I love Hannah/Zach. I then felt betrayed because of how much I loved Hannah/Clay from season 1. So, I figured, why not put them in a throuple. All the cool kids are doing it. Or, what if Hannah had run into Zach after leaving the movie theater on October 9th, and then the three of them discovered each other. She never mailed the tapes. She never gave the tapes to Tony. What if she'd just found a single person that day who had cared about her?
> 
> If you enjoyed this piece, please let me know. It's my first time writing anything like this. So, please, be gentle.

Hannah ran as fast as she could out of the movie theater. She knew Clay was going to be walking up to the counter at any second. He would see. He would wonder. She turned her head to face the front of the street and—

Oof

“Hey— where are you going? You look like you’re running from the devil.” Zach’s smile faded as he looked upon Hannah’s distressed face. “What’s up. You ok?” 

“I… I don’t want… don’t you have your friends to get to? You don’t want to be seen talking to me.” Hannah muttered bitterly. 

Zach’s look of concern dropped to pain, remorse. “Look, Hannah, I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been…” Zach trailed off. The grief on his face caused Hannah a pause in her determination to get home and end it all. Zach was showing genuine feeling for her? Hannah had been so sure that no one cared. “I know I’ve really sucked at being your friend— especially after this summer.” Zach gave Hannah a knowing look, and then continued, “I guess. I just. I miss you. Do you think we can hang out again. Like, you know— there’s a concert this weekend. It might be fun. It’s a local folk band, but like, the cool kind of folk. You know?” Zach laughed an easy smile, “Not weird country folk— you know what I mean. Uhm.” Zach cleared his throat visibly awkward, “I wondered if you wanted to go with me.” 

Hannah blinked. This weekend? She wasn’t going to be here this weekend. She… “Uh, Zach. I think I’m busy this weekend.” 

Zach’s smile wavered a bit. “How do you think you’re busy? Is it like you don’t want to hang out with me?—”

“No, it’s not that,” Hannah interjected, hurriedly. She was too much of a martyr to want Zach to feel like she was letting him down. If it had just been a week or two ago… Hannah would have loved…

“Hannah, I’m trying here. I really want to make up for what I’ve done. It’s not. Come on. Tell me you’ll go with me to the show. We can get dinner before. Anything you want. You were really there for me this summer. After my dad… my family… I” Zach sighed, “You just really helped me to feel like a real person again. It was dark. You brought lightness to me.” Zach gave a half shoulder shrug.

Hannah wasn’t sure what to say. The thought that she could bring any light to anyone was a bit of a surprise to hear in the place she was currently at. She was so tired of not having any connection to anyone. “I… uhm. Yeah. I guess I could.” Hannah felt the weight of her tapes that she had spent time recording. She needed to get to the post office and then to Tony. Hannah self consciously looked at her phone. “I…” Hannah remembered the words on her final tape. Words she had just recorded. She promised herself this morning she would give life one more try. Maybe this was it. Maybe her guidance counselor didn’t help. But, what if she was supposed to get help through Zach. “I’d like that.” Zach’s smile was infectious. Hannah couldn’t help but look down at the ground as she smiled aware of Zach’s gaze on hers. To think that she— her answer— could have such an effect on the school’s coolest jock. Hannah’s thoughts turned darker thinking about the school and, now, Bryce. 

“Cool. I— what are you don’t right now?” Zach looked at Hannah hopefully. Hannah bit her lip, for the moment forgetting Bryce. She looked to her phone again. 

“I’m actually late for my shift.” Hannah sighed. If she was really going to give this life thing a shot, it included her job still. Her mood picked up again though. She would get to see Helmet. That would be really nice. Maybe things didn’t have to be awkward between them. 

“Alright. Have a good time at work.” Zach gave her another big smile. He then leaned in to give her a hug. Hannah took a step back, her eyes wide. Zach stopped, looked puzzled but then moved back a bit. Hannah felt so stupid. Zach wasn’t Bryce. He wasn’t going to hurt her. Tears almost came, but Hannah bit the insides of her cheeks. 

“Text me later, Zach.” She said before turning around.

“Will do.” Zach shouted to her retreating form.

Hannah walked back toward the movies. She couldn’t even stand a hug from Zach anymore? She felt a tear run down her cheek. She knew Zach wasn’t Bryce. Yet, there was this part of her that totally felt like she could never trust another. Maybe she made a mistake. She still had the tapes. She could always go back and…

Hannah looked up. She was standing directly in front of the movie theater. Through the glass door Helmet was staring at her. Her feet had carried her there while her mind had been spiraling. Hannah wiped the tear from her face. Clay smiled at her, oblivious to her inner turmoil. Hannah took a deep breath, and went into the lobby. 

Her uniform was still on the counter. “I was wondering why you left your stuff here. We have another hour before the rush.” Hannah nodded, unsure what else to say. Clay was obviously very uptight— like always. She smiled seeing his face blush a bit. 

“I’m going to get changed. Be right back.” Hannah left to change in the bathroom. When she got back, there was madness behind the counter. Clay had, apparently, spilled the entire container of popcorn kernels. Unpopped corn was scattered across the old floor. He was doing his best to sweep it all up quickly, however, the kernels had gotten stuck in the treads of his shoes and were making his shoes very slippery. Hannah giggled despite herself. Clay looked up, totally mortified. “I… I didn’t…” 

“It’s ok, Helmet. I got you.” Hannah grabbed another broom from the storage closet and moved to the disaster zone. “You know that’s about 100$ worth of popcorn that we have to throw away now. I’ll bet Old Man Smith would kill you if he knew.” Hannah gave a good natured snicker, and smiled at Clay. He made a couple of awkward hand gestures and then slipped again. Hannah laughed. It felt so good to laugh… Hannah felt weird saying the word kill in referring to Clay. To think that she could…

“With what we charge for popcorn— I think it’s more like 500$.” Clay, laughed and then bit his lip, continuing, “So, I’m glad my soul-crushing embarrassment is amusing you.” Clay smiled at Hannah, it was the easy, good-natured smile that she knew. It made her feel excited again. Was this what butterflies felt like? 

“Soul-crushing? Oh come on Helmet. I would never crush your soul.” Hannah could feel herself feeling better. This was easy. It was good. When all the kernels were swept up Hannah and Clay fell into their easy routine. They talked about movies, TV, music. It was like old times— the good times. The rush came and went. As the theaters were all full of movie-goers the lines were nonexistent until the next round of shows started. Hannah loved these moments. It was what made the job really fun, actually, hanging out with people in the down time. 

“Ok, would you rather have to change genders every time you sneeze or never be able to shower again.” Hannah asked Clay after a particularly brutal round he gave involving Edward or Jacob from Twilight. 

“Uhm— I think you mean change sex. Gender is just the relationship between identity and expression that can change— and it’s not fixed it actua…”

“Oh my god, Helmet, you’re such a feminist.” Hannah laughed. 

 

“I just spend too much time on the internet… I think,” Clay said.

“Ok— so answer my question.” 

“Well, what do you mean by shower? Could I still take baths?”

“No.”

“Wait— so I can never go swimming again either?”

“Uhm— no, you can swim still.”

“But, wait— I can swim, just not with a bar of soap?”

“Uhh—yeah.” Hannah laughed, “Just answer the question.”

Clay, feigned a really good thinking face, “Ok— I uhh… I could change sex every time I sneeze.”

“What?! Really?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t *want* to, but I don’t think it would be that bad— and if I really needed to change then I could just, like, throw pepper at my nose, or something.” 

Hannah laughed at that. “What happens if you sneezed in the middle of sex?” Hannah was shocked by her own question. What would Clay think of that? 

“I… uh… I mean… hopefully… I would tell my partner. That’s uhm.. That’s responsible you know.”

“Responsible sexual behavior.”

Clay laughed, “Yeah. That is responsible adult behavior from two adults who are consenting to, uh, partake.”

“Partake?!” Hannah lost it right there, laughing. Clay hid a half smile too, obviously pleased with himself by his role in making her laugh. 

After her shift, Hannah saw that she had a text from Zach. 

Zach: It was really nice running into you today. I’m looking forward to this weekend. :)

Hannah smiled and then shot back, “you have no idea. :)” 

Hannah slid her backpack off her shoulders and opened it to get out her homework. The tapes looked back at her. Shit. Hannah couldn’t believe that just a few hours ago she had been so sure none of this was worth it. Time would tell, she figured. Hannah could always go back to that option. She took out the two packages and put them both on the top shelf in her closet. 

**************************************************************************************************************

Zach picked up Hannah in his blue convertible Friday night. His hair looked even more beautiful than normal. He had a comfortable graphic T underneath his letterman’s jacket. Zach got out of his car to open her door for her. Her dress blew slightly in the wind, and Hannah smiled getting into his car. “What a gentleman.” Hannah kidded. 

“My mother raised me right.” Zach cracked, “Ok, so we are going to Outlet Zero for dinner. I got reservations for 20min from now.” 

Hannah was impressed. Outlet Zero was one of the newest up-in-coming spots. She hadn’t been there yet. Heck, her parents hadn’t been there yet. “Nice. I’ve heard it’s good.” 

“I hope so.”

“You haven’t been?” Hannah asked.

“No. I just heard it’s good too.” 

“Well we’ll try it together.” Hannah said, liking the idea that he hadn’t been dating a lot of girls taking them to this impressive place.

“Yeah. We’re good at trying things together.” Zach’s eyes grew three sizes. His apology spilled out of his mouth as though he had been fast-forwarded, “Oh my God, Hannah. I didn’t mean it like that. I…” 

Hannah blushed “It’s ok. Uhm…”

“I really didn’t—”

“I know. And— it’s true. We are good at trying things together.” Hannah was surprised at herself, flirting with Zach always came so easily. She was glad things hadn’t really changed between them.

“Yeah. We— uhm. Yeah.” Zach didn’t quite know what to say to that. 

“Anyway, what’s this band called?”

“They’re called Goodbye Washington. They have four members, and all of them are really great musicians. The lead singer sounds awesome. He also plays keyboard and guitar. Then the other lead singer is a girl. She can play the ukulele and drums. Then they have a saxophone player and banjo player. And they have another guitarist. 

“Banjo?” Hannah sounded very doubtful. 

Zach laughed, “I promise they’re really good. They are like Mumford and Sons meets Florence and the Machine.”

“Well, I’m always willing to find new music.” Hannah was excited at how comfortable their conversation was. In no time at all they were sitting down at their table at the restaurant. There were other couples waiting on a table. Zach walked up and was able to get his seat ahead of all of them. Got to love reservations, Hannah thought to herself as she saw all the annoyed faces of other people waiting in the lobby. 

Zach didn’t let her feel too guilty though, “It just takes a little foresight to get a reservation. Any of those other people could have done it.” Hannah gave Zach an indulgent smile, “Oh my gosh, listen to me. Here I am talking about dining-foresight. That’s not sexy.”

Hannah laughed, “Planning is very sexy Zach.” 

He smiled back at her, “You’re making fun of me now!” 

“No way— I would never.”

“You would.”

“Maybe a little.” Hannah laughed with him. 

The restaurant was one of those uppity places that only had a few different entrees that changed every day. Hannah and Zach each got something different so that they could try each other’s and experience the most that they could. Hannah liked that Zach phrased it that way. It made her feel like he was wanting to spend his experiences with just her.

“Ok, would you rather have to change your gender whenever you sneeze or never shower again,” Hannah asked Zach.

Zach laughed, “I like being a guy. So, I guess never shower again.” 

“What would you do about your smell?”

“Are you saying I smell bad?”

“Of course not— but you would if you never showered.”

“Who’s to say I shower now.”

“That’s gross. I know you shower now. I’ve seen you after practice.”

“Fair enough.” Zach shrugged, “I don’t find my scent offensive.”

“Your scent?” Hannah laughed. “Ok— if you could change one thing about yourself what would you change?”

“I would never have let us breakup.” Zach said without hesitation. Hannah was taken aback. 

“That’s not a trait about you.” 

“It’s what I choose. I made the biggest mistake not telling my friends about you. I’m sorry Hannah.”

Hannah was uncomfortable with how serious this had gotten suddenly. Luckily for her, their food came at that point. The two each split their meals before eating. Zach made a sinful moan after biting into the roasted Brussels sprouts. Hannah didn’t know anyone could like Brussels sprouts that much. The grilled salmon was also really good. Hannah loved the asparagus too— there was something they did with rosemary that made Hannah’s mouth water. 

After dinner and dessert, (which the couple also split) the two made their way to the small outdoor stage. The venue was picturesque. The leaves hadn’t yet turned completely— summer was late this year. But, everything had that hint of crisp air that mid-October brings.  
Hannah looked around and was surprised to see Clay sitting by himself. “Hey! Zach— look over there. It’s Clay.”   
“Oh yeah— you work with him, right?” 

Hannah nodded, “Yeah. He’s a really good bud. We should go sit with him.” 

Zach looked awkwardly around for a second, “Uh. Yeah we could.”

“Cool.” Hannah led Zach over to where Clay was sitting. “Hey Helmet. Mind if we join you?”


	2. Coming Together (Clay PoV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The throuple is formed. Clay tries to understand what is going on. As per usual.

Clay looked up to see Hannah looking back at him with Zach Dempsey, of all people, in tow. 

Clay let out a breath of air, “Uh, yeah— yeah sure. Uhm. You can share my blanket.”

“You brought a blanket and a lawn chair? Oh my God, you really are an old man.” Hannah kidded him. Clay would normally respond with something witty. Really, he would. But seeing Zach there was making him feel pretty awkward. 

“So, you like Goodbye Washington?” Clay asked as Hannah and Zach sat down beside him on the green. 

“I’ve never heard them before. Zach is a big fan though.” Zach made a noncommittal nod at his name. 

“Cool. I saw the flyer for this show and looked them up on Spotify. They’re cool.” Zach seemed to respond a bit to this. 

“Yeah— one of the guys used to go to my church. He played in the worship band back when I was in, like, 8th grade,” Zach added. 

“Oh, cool,” Clay added back, “So, are you two here like…?” Clay wasn’t sure how to phrase it. What was this? A date? Why did Hannah run over to him if it was a date. That couldn’t be it. They had to be friends. But, Hannah had never mentioned Zach. They couldn’t be *that* close. Right? Clay saw Hannah’s cheeks flush. 

“No— we aren’t. I mean,” Hannah looked at Zach unsure how to respond. Zach seemed to look at Hannah as though he wasn’t planning on helping her out at all. Hannah, finally, just said, “We dated this summer.” Zach nodded thoughtfully at this. “When you were away. It’s— uh— sort of a long story.”

Clay nodded and forced himself to put on a smile. “Yeah— no, yeah. That’s great. You two look good together.”

Zach seemed taken by that comment, he put on a half smile, “Thanks Clay.” 

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.” Clay forced himself to look at the ground and then back at the stage. The band was setting up, and lots of people from the community were showing up. Clay saw so many faces from school. Tony Padilla was there with some older guy. Marcus from the Student Conduct Board was there. Clay saw Jessica with her boyfriend. They too made an attractive couple. Clay felt doubt that he could have ever gotten a girl as pretty as Hannah to notice him. That night at that party was a giant mistake. She clearly only saw him as a friend. Clay turned toward the couple again. He saw that Zach was looking out at some of his friends. The jocks were all there. “You were friends with Jeff Atkins, right?” Clay asked Zach, somewhat uncomfortably. 

Zach looked back to Clay. His eyes sad and full of understanding, “Yeah. I was. We played together since little league. Before every game he used to bring a bag of mints for everyone. I never understood why. He told me later that everyone needed fresh breath for the huddles. I laughed when he told me that reason. Every time I smell mint gum or something like that I think of him,” Zach shrugged his shoulders. Clay nodded thoughtfully at the story. It was the type of thing he hadn’t known about Jeff. In some small way it made Clay feel as though Jeff’s memory was still alive. Like, if Clay could find something new about his friend, how could he be gone? Zach continued, “You were good friends with him too. He used to say that you were the only reason he was still on the team. He was a great guy— great man— but he was never good at schoolwork.” 

Clay made a slight nod while tightening his lips. He felt uncomfortable talking about a dead guy’s flaws— however minuscule. It just felt, almost, disrespectful or something. Hannah also seemed to be really uncomfortable next to him. “Yeah. He was a really good friend.” Clay looked away wanting to change the subject but not being sure how. 

“You can go hang out with your friends if you want to,” Hannah said to Zach. He was looking over at the other jocks again. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Zach asked, “I’m right where I want to be.” 

Hannah looked down, “I just don’t want you to…” 

“I want to be here with you,” Zach said. It was with such an intensity that Clay was almost embarrassed to hear it. 

“Hey guys,” Clay looked over. Alex Standall was standing over them. Alex gave a small smile to the group. “You all look cozy.” Clay wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“We are,” Zach said playfully. He moved his arm around Hannah’s shoulder and pulled her close. A pang of jealousy hit Clay. He watched as Hannah settled into Zach’s arms. 

“Nice. I’m happy for you,” Alex said. Clay nodded unsure what else to say. “If you all want to meet up with me and everyone, we are hanging out over there.” Alex pointed across the way. Clay wasn’t sure what he saw in Hannah’s eyes. The expression was one he wasn’t used to seeing on her face. 

As Alex left, Hannah straightened herself a bit, so she wasn’t as close to Zach as she had been, leaving Zach’s face to scowl slightly, before smoothing into his normal relaxed smile. More and more people were in the crowd. It looked as though everyone thought this was the place to be. Teachers, parents, local college kids, and other high schoolers were all in attendance. The place had become very crowded. 

“One. Two. One, two, three, four!” A saxophone blared along with the guitar and the keyboard. “I have loved, dreamed, hoped, and cried!” The man began to sing as the instruments decrescendo-ed. The infectious melody spun around the open air. The whole crowd cheered to the abrupt start of the band’s set. Clay looked around. He knew this song from Spotify. Everyone was smiling, staring at the stage. People were moving to get closer. It was a scene of pure joy. Red solo cups and water bottles were full— everyone was enjoying the beautiful evening and the melodious harmonies the band was weaving. Clay looked over at Hannah she was smiling back at him. For a brief moment Clay could feel a certain triumph overtake him. That wasn’t a “just friends” smile. It couldn’t be. 

Clay then looked over at Zach. He was looking back at him too, a look of suspicion on his face. “Thank you!” everyone cheered again. Clay and Hannah joined in. “We are Goodbye Washington. This county’s premiere folk-pop band.” The audience laughed amidst the manic cheers and screams. “We want to thank you all for coming out tonight. This show is by donation. So, please, if you would, all profits and donations tonight are going to The American Cancer Society. The purple buckets are at the back of the park. Put a couple bucks in.” 

The girl on the stage looked shocked, “Or, you know, more than a couple bucks. Whatever.” Everyone laughed. Clay took out his wallet to see if he had some spare dollars. Zach did the same and pulled out a twenty. 

“I can take your money back too,” Zach offered. 

“Sure, thanks.” Clay was a little uncomfortable with only giving three dollars while Zach was going to give twenty but decided not to worry too much about it. 

“Thanks Zach,” Hannah offered. Zach gave her a small peck on the cheek. Hannah touched her hand to her cheek and blinked as he left. Her lips formed a half smile as she watched him walk away. 

“So, you and Zach,” Clay offered. Hannah gave a nod. Clay nodded back, “Were you two together when we— I mean. Is that why you freaked out at the party?” 

“No— gosh no Clay. I— I really like you. I do. I just. Zach and I have history. I like both of you.” Hannah twirled a piece of hair in her finger; an, apparently, nervous habit. 

Clay cleared his throat, “You like both of us. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Hannah looked dubiously over her shoulder seeking who was in the crowd. Zach approached back and sat back down on the blanket listening to the second song end. With Zach there, Hannah and Clay dropped their conversation, content to listen to the band over continuing any more awkward discussion about feelings. 

At this point the sun had begun setting. The red sky was a brilliant backdrop behind the band. The third and fourth songs were a change from their earlier songs. The group played two covers that were much more upbeat. The teens all cheered and rushed toward the stage to dance. The first one was a folked up "Worth It," by Fifth Harmony. The second one was really good. The girl dancer swayed to the beat and worked the crowd into a frenzy Clay was pretty sure the song was a folky cover of “Talk Dirty to Me.” He laughed along with Zach and Hannah about the absurdity of turning those songs folk. 

Clay looked to see several of the high schoolers among the throng of dancers in front of the stage. Red solo cups were swaying to the music and several people looked like they had been having a lot of fun experimenting with varying stages of consciousness. The song ended, and the girl on stage stopped her bandmates from starting the next song. “Hey— I want to say something. We are a band the promotes love and goodwill to all people. And I want to tell you— you, right there— you. I saw that. You just groped that chick. She didn’t appreciate it. And you’re not getting away with that shit. You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re twice her size. We are a safe space here. No one should be assaulted. Not here, not on my watch— and not at my concert.” The crowd cheered. Clay looked over to see who she was talking to. No way— it was Bryce Walker! The entire school seemed to realize slowly who it was she was talking to— a hush fell over the crowd right as he answered her.

“She wanted it!” Bryce yelled back up at the stage, laughing looking to his boys to back him up. His crew all backed up from him. 

“Are you joking? ‘She wanted it?’ I saw her face you scumbag!” The singer yelled down at him. “I see your letterman jacket. I know your school. I’m going to report your ass to the guidance counselor and to your coaches. ‘She wanted it?!’ What kind of 1940’s mentality bull shit is that?” The crowd cheered again. Clay looked over— Bryce’s mom was at the back of the green, watching the whole thing. 

“I’ll donate a ton of money to your show— just keep playing.” Bryce shouted back. He waved at her condescendingly with his free hand, his other hand holding a red Solo cup. Clay was getting very uncomfortable. 

“Oh— you’ll donate money? I see. So, you’re used to treating people however you want because you have money. I see. Well, we don’t want your money. Security— get him out of here. If this can’t be a safe space for young women then we are doing something wrong here!” The crowd cheered again, “I’m sorry for that disturbance folks. Let’s get back to the music.” The crowd roared again, as another cover came on of a song from Of Monsters and Men. Clay was moving his head to it, when he looked over and saw Hannah crying. 

“Hannah— what’s what’s wrong?” Clay asked.

“Hannah?” Zach asked. The two were cut off by her sniffle—

“I— I got to go. I’m sorry.” Hannah got up abruptly and started leaving the green crying. 

Zach and Clay looked at each other for a split second before both getting up and following her. 

“Hannah? What’s going on. Hey— Hannah it’s ok!” Clay walked as fast as he could toward her. He’d left his blanket and his chair. Zach was with him, walking toward her. What was going on? Why did seeing Bryce get yelled at upset her. Did she have a crush on *him* too? In the darkest parts of Clay’s mind he began to wonder about the rumors from the last year.

Hannah walked past the green and toward the end of a dock. Both boys were next to her, “Guys, please, just… I’m not worth it. I’m fucked up. I’m sorry. I don’t.”

“Hey, Hannah. We care about you. It’s ok. Don’t…”

“It’s not ok. It’s not. I’m so sorry guys. I just… Seeing Bryce. And… I haven’t even told anyone. Who could I tell. It’s not…” Hannah sobbed. Zach pulled her into him. Clay saw her wrap her arms around his muscular back and bury her face in his pecs. Clay gulped thinking that this wasn’t a moment he should be witnessing. 

“Thank you for following me. I don’t want to be alone right now. Thank both of you,” Hannah added taking her head away from Zach’s chest and looking at Clay. She offered him a small smile.

Clay screwed up his face, “Hannah— Zach’s right. We just, we care about you. If you want to talk about it, you can tell us.”

Hannah let in a big breath, “I know. I know I can. I just. I don’t want either of you to not like me once I say it. It’s like, some things can’t be unsaid. Some things can’t be undone, you know?” Both boys nodded at Hannah, perplexed. Clay watched as Hannah’s wet face looked at him, and then Zach, and then back at him. Something seemed to resolve itself in Hannah’s mind as she started speaking very quickly, “I… Bryce raped me a couple of weeks ago. I just…” Clay could feel Zach tense up next to him, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I saw him rape Jessica at the party a little while back. I could have stopped it but I was so scared. I was so scared. Clay— it was right after you and I kissed.” Clay saw Zach look directly at him. Hannah continued, “I felt like I needed to punish myself for letting it happen to Jessica. But, I realize now that it was rape. I hate myself for it.” Hannah cried out and let out a guttural half-sob half-yell. 

“Hey— it isn’t your fault. Ok, listen to me,” Zach looked directly at Hannah. ”The whole team knows he’s scum. And, did you see what just happened back there? Huh? Now the whole town knows it too. Ok? It’s going to be ok. I’m here with you. Ok. You can trust me.” Zach shushed her, “You can trust me.” 

Clay bit his lip, “Hannah, I— I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I… you gotta tell someone. Tell the police. Press charges. He’s got to pay for it. We can’t let him get away with that,” Clay looked around into the night, as though searching for some kind of ally or sign that he was saying the right thing. Clay had no idea what to say to Hannah. What do you say to a girl who just admits that she had been raped by the school’s second best athlete. 

“I— I know. I’m” Hannah couldn’t verbalize at the moment. Clay could tell she was overwhelmed. He tried to imagine some way he could help her.

“Clay’s right, Hannah. But, look, let’s not worry about it right now. The whole school community saw it. Parents saw it. I bet lots of girls are going to come forward now. There’s a whole stash of photos that the guys have in the shed behind the baseball field. We can get those as evidence. Bryce will go down. We can do it together,” Zach had a determined look in his eye as he looked at Clay. Clay nodded back at him. 

“We are here for you. We’ll help,” Clay offered.

“I’m such a fool. I’m so sorry for putting this on you two. I can’t believe I’m here with the two most amazing guys in the world. I suck— I like both of you and that’s not fair to either of you. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want! My whole life sucks. I have two amazing guys who both want me. And, I can’t even focus on that because I’m so fucked up. I’ve felt so alone and hurt for so long. Bryce raped me. I don’t know how to get over all the pain I have caused. I’ve caused so many people pain.” Hannah sobbed again, thinking about how everything had gone so wrong for her in the last year. 

“Hey,” Zach grabbed her hand, “It’s ok. Clay and I are both here for you. Whatever you want. Ok? We are here for you.” 

Hannah gave a bitter, defeated laugh, “Whatever I want? I told you I don’t know what I want. I feel like I don’t deserve anything good. I want both of you.” 

“Ok, then you can have both of us,” Clay answered. Both heads turned to him, incredulous. 

“What?” Zach asked? 

“I mean, it’s not the kind of fairy tale ending I was imagining with you, Hannah, but— if we both make you happy. I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness. I just want you to be happy too. How could I tell you that it’s not a good thing if you are saying that it makes you happy— that Zach makes you happy.” 

“How— I mean, how would that work? You’re not making any sense Clay.” Hannah looked between the two guys, willing some answers to come. 

“You know, we could be in a polyamorous relationship,” Clay answered. God. He did spend too much time online.

“Polyamory? That’s your solution?” Hannah giggled. 

“I’m pretty sure that for polyamory to work all parties have to be attracted to each other,” Zach said. 

“Yeah, well…” Clay answered sighing out a big breath of air. 

“What?! Jensen, you’re attracted to me?” Zach asked looking at Clay. His eyes traveling down Clay’s body, made Clay shift under the heavy gaze. 

“I mean. I’m not gay. I’m definitely attracted to girls. I just, I don’t know. I think it would be… worth trying.” Clay chose his words carefully. He was, truth be told, probably very bisexual. Clay had found the jocks at his school very attractive physically— but none of them had been able to make him interested beyond the physical. They were all such brutes— well, except for Jeff. Clay had been really attracted to Jeff, but Jeff was only ever interested in being with girls. 

Zach looked shocked, but then a small change occurred around his eyes that made Clay think he looked rather pleased with himself. 

“So, you want to try being in a throuple?” Hannah asked, her voice thick with doubt and hesitation. 

“I just think it would solve all our problems,” Clay said, throwing his hands up into the air.

Zach seemed to ponder a moment before something snapped. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

“What?” Hannah asked. 

“I told you. My biggest mistake was letting you go back in August. I have been miserable the last two months. If this is the way I can date you again. I’m game,” Zach shrugged.

Clay looked at Zach’s face, and then back to Hannah’s. “Cool.” 

“Alright. Let’s try it out,” Hannah laughed a little despite herself. Just five minutes ago she had been sobbing. Clay smiled broadly back at her. Cool.

Zach led the newly formed throuple toward his car. The three decided to call it a night. Zach drove to Clay’s house first as it was the closest. Clay looked up at his darkened house. “Do— uhh. My parents aren’t home until late. Do you guys want to come in?”

Hannah looked at both Zach and Clay. They were both looking at her. Clay wondered vaguely if this was really his life now.

“Ok,” Hannah bit her lip and nodded. Her lips turned into a smile. Clay’s followed suit; he then looked over at Zach and saw that Zach seemed to be as excited as he was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the inspiration for the band part by seeing actual musicians do this when people do these things at their concerts. Here is an awesome video of Drake doing, essentially, the same thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypls4DPUTr4
> 
> Anyway-- if you see something, say something.


	3. Final (Zach PoV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just porn without plot, essentially, haha.

Zach looked appraisingly at Clay’s bedroom. This was not at all how he expected this night to go. He had been enjoying Hannah’s company. It was really just like summer again. At first he wasn’t sure how he should take Hannah’s decision to sit with Clay. It was such a weird curve ball from what a normal date was supposed to be like. All things considered, Zach didn’t mind Clay. He was a nerd— but a cool nerd. And, besides, Hannah really liked him. So, it would be alright. He wasn’t going to do anything gay, like kiss Clay or whatever. Clay’s posters were all really nerdy—pi and space? Oh my god, could the guy get any more nerdy? 

Zach got good grades, it was expected of him. He didn’t want to hurt his mom any more than she had been hurt in the last few months. The least he could do, as he saw it, was keep up with sports and with his grades. Math always came easily to him, but he still would never have geometric posters on his walls. It was then that Zach saw a band poster.

“Oh cool, You like The Cure? They’re awesome. All those bands are great. I love The Smiths too,” Zach offered, unaware that he was trying to find common ground with Clay. 

“Yeah— The Smiths are one of my favorites,” Clay replied back. Zach sat down on Clay’s bed. Hannah sat next to him. Clay awkwardly sat next to Hannah then. Zach swallowed, wondering how this should get started. 

“Look, Hannah, I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you’re not wanting to do. I— I mean this is new territory for all of us. But, I want you to be comfortable—” Zach was hushed by Hannah’s interruption. Her eyes pierced his. 

“No— I want to. I want to own my own sexuality. This is my choice. It was taken from me before. But now, now, I’m owning it. This is what I want. I want you both.” Hannah moved forward and pressed her lips to Zach’s. Zach kissed her back, slowly gently at first. All the pressure and anxiety melted away. He had told his friends that he was going to date Hannah. They’d all been cool with it. In fact, Bryce was the only one who had something shitty to say about it, and Zach told him in no uncertain terms to keep his opinions to himself. Zach moved his hand toward Hannah’s face, and slightly touched her cheek. It was a familiar move— one that they had spent countless afternoons the last summer perfecting. Zach continued kissing her, but he could feel her move away from him. He looked on as she then moved toward Clay. She kissed him with as much tenderness as he had shown her. To Zach’s surprise it didn’t feel weird seeing her kiss Clay. It, truth be told, turned him on a little. Zach didn’t want to think too much about that. 

Zach moved to Hannah’s neck, kissing small, delicate pecks along her collarbone and then licking up to her ear. Hannah gave out a breathy moan which made Zach’s semi turn rock hard. Zach bit his lip, and nodded, proud of the sound he had produced in her throat. 

“Take off your shirts,” Hannah instructed. Zach didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled up his t-shirt and threw it across the room. Zach looked over and watched Clay undress. He was a bit slower in revealing himself, but Zach nodded at him and smiled. 

“You got some muscle under that shirt that you’ve been hiding Jensen,” Zach kidded the other boy, patting his shoulder. Clay did look pretty good. He was more developed than some of the boys on the baseball team. If he could be taught to hit a ball, he might be pretty good. Clay looked bashful at the compliment. Zach smiled back at him again to let him know it was all ok. Hannah removed her dress then. Zach saw her in just her bra and panties. She looked as hot as the first time he’d seen her like this. 

Zach moved to her and began kissing her body again, letting Clay continue making out with her. He eventually kissed down to her navel, and then continued going. He waited for some clue that she wanted him to continue. 

“Mmm— yes,” Hannah purred as she grabbed a handful of Zach’s hair and pushed him down. That would work as a signal. Zach then pulled down her panties and kissed her pussy lips. He looked up seeing Clay still kissing Hannah’s other lips. Zach smiled at that thought and then saw that Hannah was rubbing the outside of Clay’s pants. She better watch that, Zach thought. Clay was undoubtedly a virgin and that would mean he’d come from a fresh breeze. Zach was unbelievably turned on, watching Hannah and Clay while licking and kissing her pussy. It was so hot. The moans the two of them made coupled with Hannah’s taste was enough to drive Zach wild. He began long licks up and down Hannah. He nibbled the inside of her thigh, and then tried a trick that he’d read online. He used his tongue to write the alphabet. When he got to “G” she made a sharp intake of breath, so Zach did that letter three more times. Zach looked up from his position and saw that Hannah and Clay were still making out. Zach realized that Clay wouldn’t move past that. He didn’t know how to. Zach gave a sloppy kiss to Hannah’s pussy and then surfaced.

“I want to try something. Here,” Zach positioned Hannah on all fours and then told Clay to stand up at the foot of the bed. At first Clay looked at him skeptically— as though Zach was trying to remove him from the scene. Instead Zach unzipped and unbuttoned Clay’s pants in one quick motion. Clay was tenting his boxers in the most obscene way. “Hannah, try to take care of that for him.” Zach smirked as he watched Hannah remove Clay’s boxers. Clay had a very nice size dick, but it was extra thick. Zach watched as Hannah licked the tip. Clay’s eyes rolled in the back of his head.

“Oh my god,” Clay breathed out roughly. 

“Nice,” Zach said. He then discarded his own pants, climbed back in the bed, and crawled under Hannah. From there he continued eating her out from his back lifting his athletic frame up to meet her dripping cunt. Zach had only ever been with Hannah, and so he really only knew how her body responded when it was turned on. She was giving him all the signs that he loved. Her clit was swollen as he licked and kissed it, using his pillowy lips to get her more and more turned on. Her breathing and moaning increased. She even grabbed the sheets on the bed and balled her fists in them, before going back to Clay. He felt her body quiver and Zach thought that might have been an orgasm. Pride swelled in him at being able to get her to cum from going down on her. His first time he’d ever done it he had no idea what he was doing. His dick was rock hard when he heard her finally come off Clay’s dick.

“Please, Zach. I need to feel you inside me.” Zach didn’t need to be told twice. He moved out from underneath Hannah and he looked at the scene for a moment. There was something really hot about watching Hannah’s head bob up and down on Clay’s groin as he went into his jeans to get a condom. Zach lined himself up, teasing her hole with his cock head. Zach looked up as he penetrated just the tip. Clay was looking at him with a hungry look in his eyes. 

“Damn Hannah, you already feel good and I haven’t even pushed in yet,” Zach could feel her muscles pulling him in, inviting him into her warmth and wetness. “How are you liking your first blow job Clay?” 

“It feels so good,” Clay groaned out, closing his eyes. Zach watched the lewd scene in front of him as he slipped more into Hannah. When he finally felt himself fully in, he gave himself a minute, enjoying the feeling of her surrounding his cock. 

“Fuck, Clay. Wait till you feel her pussy. She’s the best feeling on Earth,” Zach breathed out as he finally began to pull out. She was so wet and tight, the sounds that he began making were obscene as he fucked into and out of her. He picked up some speed fucked her hard for a few seconds before slowing down and trying to push his dick up more— trying to find her g-spot. As Zach fucked her longer and deeper than he’d ever tried before, he could feel her pussy clamping down on him tighter— as though her body was telling him how much it needed him. 

“I— I’m cumming!” Clay breathed out. Zach picked up the pace, allowing himself to feel his orgasm.

“I’m cumming too!” Zach’s eyes snapped shut as he felt the waves of pleasure envelop his entire body. He shot the hardest orgasm he’d ever had. Zach knew that when he pulled out of Hannah the condom would be gushing with his hot load. 

Hannah giggled a little, Zach opened his eyes and he pulled out of Hannah. Sure enough, the condom was almost half full of cum. Clay’s eyes widened. 

“That’s a huge load Zach,” Clay said. Zach couldn’t help but feel virile having another man compliment the size of his cum load. Zach pulled Hannah up and looked at her beautiful face. 

Zach kissed her deeply before realizing that she had just swallowed Clay’s load. He could taste Clay’s salty cum on his tongue. Zach’s mouth froze for a fraction of a second. His brain went into overdrive trying to figure out what to do now. He didn’t want to upset Hannah or insult Clay. Fuck… Zach felt Hannah’s tongue still trying to wrestle with his. Zach moved his body closer to hers, deciding to just go with it. Come to think of it, Clay’s cum didn’t really taste any different from his own. It wasn’t a bad taste or entirely unpleasant. It was just unexpected.

“I can taste you on her tongue, Clay.” Zach said. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to say that to Clay. If Zach really thought about it, he would have probably said that it was just his way of letting the two of them know that it was all good with him. 

Hannah saw the huge load in the condom that Zach was holding, and said, “Give me the condom, Zach.” Zach obeyed not being able to guess what happened next. Hannah kissed Clay full on the mouth, and then she said to him, “It’s only fair Clay.” Hannah pulled the condom up to her mouth, and in a dramatic fashion, emptied the contents into her mouth. Then, she pulled Clay back in for a second kiss. Clay seemed to resist for a nanosecond before kissing her deeply and passionately. Zach’s mouth was agape, watching the two of them swap his load between their mouths. 

The throuple heard the front door shut. 

“Oh shit.” Clay whispered. He looked at the two of them for answers. Zach’s mind started spinning. 

“Ok— uhmm. Does your mom come into your room? She can’t; it smells like we just had an orgy in here. Ok— can we hide up here until your parents go to bed. It’s late they should go to bed soon right?” Zach began formulating plans in his head.

“Yeah… Yeah that should work. Ok, just uhh. Hide in here. I’ll go down and talk to my mom for a minute or two and then say I’m going to bed. And, then we just have to wait for my parents to go to bed and we can sneak you guys out. This… This can work.” Zach watched as Clay flew around the room putting some pajamas on. Before he left Zach called him back. 

“Wait,” Clay froze at Zach’s interjection. Zach walked up to Clay drawing their bodies very close together. He then bent down and smelled Clay’s breath and then his neck. “Go to the bathroom first, rinse with mouthwash and then put deodorant on and then go downstairs.” 

Clay blinked back and then nodded, before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

“That could have been bad,” Hannah whispered. 

“It still could be,” Zach whispered back. The two moved to the far corner of the room and sat on Clay’s couch. They waited in silence. They couldn’t hear much, but eventually, they did hear Clay call down to his mom. 

“Good night.” Clay got in his room and turned off the light, he then turned on a small table lamp and sat next to the other two. “I think we’ll be good— as long as we’re quiet. It’s a good thing you parked your car on the street. She didn’t mention it at all,” Clay whispered softly. 

Zach felt Hannah shift next to him, “I know something we can do to keep quiet.” She leaned over and kissed Clay again on the lips. Zach watched as she then moved away from Clay, and he was soon feeling her lips on his. 

“Are you ready to go again?” Zach asked her moving into the kiss. 

“What can I say? The adrenaline of the moment got me excited,” Hannah replied back. Zach chuckled quietly at that. He could feel her body moving, shifting so that it was closer to his other side. This left Clay to Zach’s immediate right. “Clay, come here.” Hannah said in a soft, seductive tone. Clay moved toward her. Hannah began kissing down Zach’s chest. “Clay, I want you to kiss Zach’s abs. Zach is that ok with you?”

Zach looked taken aback for a moment, “Uh— yeah. That’s cool.” Clay kissed Zach’s abs. Zach had to admit it felt kind of cool two mouths on his body. He could feel both tongues working their way down. His dick got hard again, feeling them moving down his body. Before he knew it, Zach could feel Hannah’s mouth on his dick again, Clay’s mouth kissing and licking his thigh. Zach leaned back on the couch putting his hands behind his head. Feeling two hot mouths worshiping his body. Did life get any better than this? 

“Clay, now kiss me around Zach’s dick.” Zach watched as Clay moved to kiss Hannah, his dick got caught between their tongues and lips. Zach was in heaven. He looked down. If this is what being in a throuple meant, Zach could get into it. “I’m going to teach you how to suck dick, ok Clay?” Zach couldn’t believe his ears. Just 24 hours ago, he would have never let a guy near him. And now, he was looking forward to Hannah teaching Clay how to suck his dick? 

“Ok,” Clay muttered quietly. Zach looked down to watch Hannah and Clay.

“First, you kiss the tip really gently. Sometimes he likes it if you lick the entire length’s underside and then come up to kiss the tip, like this.” Hannah demonstrated on him, and Zach felt his whole body tighten up. 

“Yeah, just like that,” Zach breathed out as softly as he could. Clay tried to copy her movements, and Zach bit his lip to bite back a moan as Hannah continued teaching Clay how to pleasure Zach.

“Make sure you get your mouth really wet, and try to go down as far as you can. Keep your mouth closed and suck, try it like this, after me,” Hannah continued showing Clay. Zach was loving this. Because he had just cum 20 minutes prior, he was in no hurry to bust a nut. He could enjoy just a slow relaxing blow job, Zach loved the thought of these two nerds worshiping his jock-body and his jock-cock. 

Clay was able to go down farther than Hannah. When he first swallowed it all the way to Zach’s balls, Zach thought he was going to lose his control and explode right there down the nerd’s throat. “Damn Clay,” Zach whispered, “you can naturally deep throat. You were born to suck my cock, Jensen.” Zach moved his right hand and fit it into Clay’s hair, grabbing onto the silky, thin strands. It felt soft and smooth in his hand. It felt like, a girl’s hair. Zach guided Clay’s mouth up and down on his cock, loving the feeling of his lips and tongue working him over. “You got such a hot mouth Clay.” 

Zach looked over, he didn’t even realize that Hannah had moved away. She was watching them, and fingering herself. This gave Zach an idea. “You like what you see Hannah?”

“Yeah,” Hannah breathily whispered. 

Zach pulled Clay up by his fistful of hair. He then dove into Clay’s mouth kissing him deep, hard, and passionately. It was weird at first, kissing a guy. The first thought that Zach had as to how it was different was the stubble. There was something hard and sharp about kissing Clay. Kissing Hannah was all soft and slow, sensual and emotional. Kissing Clay was harsh and needy, animalistic and carnal. Zach realized immediately that he rather liked it. “You like sucking my cock, Jensen?”

“Yeah,” Clay sighed softly. 

“Then get back on it. You’re going to be doing a lot of this.” Zach looked over and watched Hannah. She was in her own world pleasuring herself. She obviously got off to the idea of them together. Zach could feel his orgasm building. Clay’s mouth was just too hot. Zach had another wicked idea. “Clay lay down on your bed.” Zach moved so that he was over him. Clay’s naked body was stretched out, his boner sticking straight up. Zach began pumping his cock over Clay, letting his orgasm take him, he shot all over Clay’s dick. He then, without missing a beat, began jerking Clay off, using his own cum as lube. Clay began to moan and whimper. “Shush,” Zach put two fingers in his mouth letting Clay suck on them, before Hannah moved toward the bed and started making out again with Clay. Zach continued stroking on Clay’s slick cock. The guy couldn’t take it, and within a minute started cumming for the second time that night. 

Zach wiped his cummy hand on Clay’s chest. Zach then dipped to Clay’s mouth and whispered, “You were amazing.” He kissed Clay full on the mouth for the second time before then kissing Hannah. 

Approximately an hour later, Zach and Hannah had made their way into his blue convertible and were heading to Hannah’s house. 

“So, that was some date,” Zach offered to Hannah. She laughed and gave him a giant smile. Zach was so happy to see that smile. He hadn’t realized how little smiling she had been doing at school the last couple of months. 

“Are you ok with it. I mean, seriously. Clay was obviously into it. I’m super into it. But, you’re so straight. Are you ok with it?” Hannah looked at his face, as he drove into the night. The streets were empty and the night was quiet. 

“Yeah. I am. I mean. I am straight, but I know that I love you. And, you love Clay. And, Clay loves you.” Zach shrugged, “And, besides, I don’t have to do anything gay for it to work. I mean we just had a ton of fun without me doing anything gay,” Zach offered, logically.

“Nothing gay? You got your dick sucked by a guy,” Hannah countered.

“Yeah, but the inside of your mouth has the same type of tissue as the inside of a vagina. That’s not gay. I didn’t suck dick. I got my dick sucked,” Zach said.

Hannah laughed at that, “Ok, you guys kissed,” Hannah retorted.

“Yeah, that was pretty gay. Ok, I am cool with kissing Clay. That part wasn’t bad at all,” Zach reasoned. 

“Just nothing gay,” Hannah mused.

“Exactly,” Zach answered.

“So, if he is fucking me, you wouldn’t look at his ass and think, ‘I could slip it inside of him.’”Hannah asked with a mocking faux-innocent tone.

“Fucking Clay wouldn’t be gay. But, getting fucked by Clay. That would be gay,” Zach argued. 

Hannah laughed at that as well. “So you just won’t give a blow job and you won’t bottom.” 

“I don’t know what ‘bottom’ means,” Zach replied. 

“Oh my God, you are so straight!” Hannah joked with him.

“Told ya.”

“Wait, so you would want to fuck Clay?” Hannah asked.

Zach seemed to consider it longer than was comedic, before finally saying, “Dude’s got a nice ass.” 

Zach smiled at Hannah’s wide eyes. “Still nothing on your ass, though.” 

“Ha. Ha.” Hannah rolled her eyes at him. Zach couldn’t help but beam wide at the tease. 

As they rolled up to Hannah’s house, Zach pulled Hannah in for another long kiss.

This Hannah was so different from the Hannah he had seen outside the movie theater just a few days ago. She eagerly accepted his mouth and tongue probing hers.

“It’s really late,” she finally said, pulling away from him. “I need to be going. Text me when you wake up?”

“And before I go to bed,” Zach answered. He watched as she got out of the car and walked up to her dark house. She went through the front door, and then, before closing it, waved goodbye to him. 

Zach sped toward the baseball field. He needed to protect the people he cared about. Zach entered the clubhouse. It was dark and empty, as he knew it would be. In that lock box were Polaroids of sexual abuse and the rape culture that Bryce promoted. Zach knew there were other guys in the box, but none of them had ever raped a girl. Zach wasn’t going to let Bryce get away with it. Taking the box, he went back to his car and drove home. In his room that night, Zach picked out all the Polaroids that involved Bryce. He was going to bring Bryce down. This combined with the public spectacle he made earlier would do it. Tomorrow he’d make the necessary copies. Bryce took the rest of the box, and took it outside. In the cool autumn night air, he started a bonfire and burned the photos that didn’t involve Bryce. Little did he know that at that same moment Hannah was still awake, in her backyard, with a bonfire of her own. She was burning two packages filled with tapes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everyone! And thank you for the feedback. I have never written anything before. Let me know what you think. I welcome all feedback. I wrote this, literally, in the span of a day. So, I'm not saying it's any good or anything. Being reworked and edited would have helped a ton, I'm sure. 
> 
> Thank you again! Any constructive criticism I would love to have!


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